If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
