My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
