? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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