I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
