somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
