when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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