i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
