I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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