I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
