When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
