the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
