can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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