i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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