You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
