You can't motorboat a personality
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
