I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
