Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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