He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
