Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You can't special order awesome
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize