low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
