Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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