I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Blood and glitter go together right?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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