I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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