If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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