and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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