Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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