what day is it and did you see me today?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize