you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
