a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize