i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
