Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
