I'm jealous of your bromance
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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