I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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