he wants to bone in the snuggie
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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