So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
