Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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