I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
