I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She even gives head with a lisp.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
