im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
