Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
