i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize