At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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