This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
