i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
