Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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