walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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