i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
