We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
