We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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