he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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