I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
