she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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