just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
