question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
