dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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