sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
bring money and cleavage
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
