I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I CAN MOONWALK!
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
