your room smells of hookers.
And success
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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