Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
