if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
