What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
