I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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