My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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