Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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