I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
This is the high leading the old right now
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
