wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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