Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize