id be glad to
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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