u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
