I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
