Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
