I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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